Coming To Terms With Who I Am

[NoOneImportant]

This year I'll be turning 29, and I've been an in-the-closet bisexual for about 12 years now. No one in my family or circle of friends has a clue, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can...

The reason I'm posting this is because I've had a bit of a revelation lately, and I wanted to see if anyone could relate.

Thing is, I'm not really attracted to most men, physically. I've always wanted an intimate relationship, with gender being a highly malleable factor, but most parts of the male anatomy kind of turn me off. Too much wiry hair in places, penises in general being unattractive - that kind of thing. But in contrast, I find the male mind to be incredibly beautiful, perhaps even sexy. I consider most women to be the flip: beautiful enticing bodies, but absolutely horrible brains and emotions. It may sound pretty sexist, but that's just been my experience in life. I've developed a bit of an attraction for men on the more feminine side of the looks department, but they are few and far between.

I guess I don't really know what to do from here, so I wanted to see if anyone could perhaps give some advice or relate some similar situation. It's been driving me crazy for quite a while, and I need to figure something out before I lose it.

[kenjsupp]

I don't have time to share my input on this post right now but I find it to be one of the more intriguing questions asked on the Forum in some time. Thanks NOI. Now that you bring it up, I can certainly relate to the issue of the way men's and women's thinking differs. I also share your turn on and turn offs about men's bodies. Wow! I guess what I'd really like is to have an attractive lady who thinks like a man and likes to share a guy occasionally and watch me suck his cock!
I'll be back later to discuss this more. Thanks for the interesting post.

[NoOneImportant]

Thank you for your reply, kenj. I've been looking for that exact kind of person myself for years now, and I think I can now say without any doubt that she doesn't exist. The woman with a male mind is essentially my Holy Grail - I think I'll be looking for this mythical treasure my entire life, but I have a very incessant nagging feeling in the back of my head that I am never going to find her. Not in my neck of the woods, anyway.

I suppose while I'm at it, I should mention that in a PM I received earlier from one of the more active members of the forum (and a pretty lucky guy, for finding his Grail) brought up the subject of transsexuals. I'll admit, I find a number of the male-to-female trans I've seen online to be extremely erotic and desirable... BUT, I'd like to think I can differentiate a fetish from a realistic expectation. I am aware that M2F trans are not really men or women - they are, for all practicality, women born into the bodies of men, and I would think that is the exact opposite of what I am seeking. I suppose that would mean that F2M trans would be for me, then... but I've never had the opportunity to meet one, and from what I can tell, they mostly prefer women anyway.

[Shock Me!]

Originally Posted by NoOneImportant

This year I'll be turning 29, and I've been an in-the-closet bisexual for about 12 years now. No one in my family or circle of friends has a clue, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can...

The reason I'm posting this is because I've had a bit of a revelation lately, and I wanted to see if anyone could relate.

Thing is, I'm not really attracted to most men, physically. I've always wanted an intimate relationship, with gender being a highly malleable factor, but most parts of the male anatomy kind of turn me off. Too much wiry hair in places, penises in general being unattractive - that kind of thing. But in contrast, I find the male mind to be incredibly beautiful, perhaps even sexy. I consider most women to be the flip: beautiful enticing bodies, but absolutely horrible brains and emotions. It may sound pretty sexist, but that's just been my experience in life. I've developed a bit of an attraction for men on the more feminine side of the looks department, but they are few and far between.

I guess I don't really know what to do from here, so I wanted to see if anyone could perhaps give some advice or relate some similar situation. It's been driving me crazy for quite a while, and I need to figure something out before I lose it.

This is an interesting post. I particularly liked the comment about women: "beautiful, enticing bodies, but absolutely horrible brains and emotions..."

Hysterical! Of course it's sexist! but that's been your experience with women and so be it.

Women are emotional roller coasters. They interact differently; express emotion differently - and for many men - a total pain in the ass. but they do have the "other" qualities than most find to be mitigating.

So it's a conundrum. Either figure out a way to rewire women's brains, or figure out how to get past the "wiry hair..." lol

[NoOneImportant]

Originally Posted by Shock Me!

Women are emotional roller coasters. They interact differently; express emotion differently - and for many men - a total pain in the ass. but they do have the "other" qualities than most find to be mitigating.

So it's a conundrum. Either figure out a way to rewire women's brains, or figure out how to get past the "wiry hair..." lol

Literally every guy I know has that opinion - that women are a pain in the ass, but are so worth it in the end. I don't think its possible for me to disagree more. I have been around all of those aforementioned men when the ugly side of their relationships came around - and I cannot see how the pros outweigh the cons. I've seen infidelity, tantrums, cutting insults and passive-aggressive threats, the damaging of property and body over the smallest slights... And those are the normal women. I've seen some crazy ones; hell, I was raised by one.

And yet, every time, they go back for more. They say its all worth it, and call ME crazy for not wanting to have some of that in my life.

I honestly don't get it, and I don't think I want to.

EDIT: I realized almost as soon as I hit POST that all of the negative things I brought up about women could easily be attributed to a lot of men as well. Fair enough - but in my defense, I've never associated with those kinds of men, and when I've come across them in the wild, I either ignore them entirely or, if they're being particularly belligerent, acted accordingly. Thing is, when men act that way, its considered unacceptable and people would consider the individual to be unbalanced, angry at the world, a sociopath, etc. When women act that way, everyone's first thought is, "Oh. Well, that's just something that women just DO. She'll calm down later, and everything will be fine."

Come again?

EDIT EDIT: I've also realized that this whole thing has come across as WAY more woman-hatey than I intended. Let me be clear: I do not hate women. I don't particularly like most of them, and I do not keep their company for longer than necessary, but I don't hate them.

[gaygary]

Easy solution: Shemale.

[starman019]

I think Gary is right...I do agree with alot of what you are saying no one. Though I do have an attraction to cocks..Not really to men. I also am attracted to smaller feminine types. Cd's and Shemales especially.

[NoOneImportant]

Originally Posted by starman019

I think Gary is right...I do agree with alot of what you are saying no one. Though I do have an attraction to cocks..Not really to men. I also am attracted to smaller feminine types. Cd's and Shemales especially.

Is there actually a difference between a transsexual and a shemale? I always thought it meant the same thing.

Also, what's a Cd in this context?

[Paddy]

Originally Posted by NoOneImportant

Is there actually a difference between a transsexual and a shemale? I always thought it meant the same thing.

Also, what's a Cd in this context?

My understanding is a transsexual is one who has gone thru a sex chang all the way.
A shemale has gone thru the hormone therapy but not the castration.
a CD is a cross dresser

[Kenny55]

Originally Posted by Paddy

My understanding is a transsexual is one who has gone thru a sex chang all the way.
A shemale has gone thru the hormone therapy but not the castration.
a CD is a cross dresser

That would be my understanding as well.....